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ANGURIE di Michele Infante


Che caldo fa: la litoranea è un forno, e le auto si muovono lente sull’asfalto incandescente.
Il nostro camioncino con le angurie è fermo al solito posto, l’incrocio con la statale per Pontecagnano.
A pochi metri, la pineta e dopo la sabbia lunga, interminabile, gialla; infine l’ingresso del “Camping Mimosa”, affollato da un viavai di auto, roulotte, camper.
Tra poco ci siamo.
Quest’anno, le cose dovrebbero andare bene: a luglio si è venduto tanto, e il prezzo si è mantenuto. Papà è riuscito a comprarne un’intera partita, direttamente da un agricoltore pugliese. Siamo andati a caricarli io e lui.
Papà che mi racconta barzellette oscene, mentre io al suo fianco bestemmio contro quelli che ci sorpassano.
Se la vendita va come ci aspettiamo, davvero stiamo bene per tutto l’inverno.
Mettere insieme i soldi per comprarle non è stato facile. E adesso resta il problema più serio: venderle. Certo che quaranta quintali sono tanti, ma abbassando il prezzo andranno via come il pane nella prima settimana di agosto.
Anzi, meglio del pane.
Io e papà ci mettiamo al lavoro presto. Prima che il sole sia troppo alto, sennò ci viene un accidente. Sotto il solleone, scarichiamo le angurie dal camion. Alle otto, otto e mezza massimo, sono già nelle loro bagnarole con il ghiaccio, altre sono sistemate sui banchi, ed un paio sono tagliate a fette con la polpa rossa in bella vista.
Siamo pronti.
La processione dei turisti sulla strada sterrata del campeggio alza un casino di polvere. Papà si ostina a piazzarsi fuori all’ingresso, perché, dice, è un buon posto, per visibilità e per far parcheggiare le auto. Veloce, facile, ché anche in vacanza non c’è mai tempo. Ho preso un pezzo di cartone e con il pennarello rosso ci ho scritto su: “Angurie 60 cent al KG” e l’ ho attaccato a una sponda del camion.
Il prezzo è buono.
Mio padre se ne sta seduto su di una sedia di plastica bianca sotto l’ombrellone.

Se mio padre non avesse avuto l’idea di vendere la vecchia Fiat per comprare il camion di mio zio Franco, e di mettersi in proprio nel commercio, chissà che fine avremmo fatto noi: io, lui, mia madre, mia sorella. Da quando ha chiuso la Ital Cementi, e lui è stato messo prima in cassa integrazione e poi in mobilità, è stato un continuo pellegrinaggio in cerca di lavoro. Mio padre è uno in gamba. Industrioso. Lo dice sempre: solo chi non ha voglia di far niente, resta disoccupato. Qualcosa da fare la si trova, se uno vuol lavorare: ecco la sua filosofia.
Arrivano le prime auto, i primi clienti. Mio padre se ne sta seduto, lascia che me ne occupi io. Ogni tanto l’osservo, aspetto che mi dia un cenno di approvazione. Il sole è ormai alto e lui suda molto. Gli chiedo come sta, se sente caldo. Gli dico che mi pare che la giornata sia iniziata bene.
Il che pare scuoterlo dal suo torpore, finalmente.
“Sì, oggi già qualcuno si è messo in viaggio, ma tra domani e dopodomani, vedrai!” dice. “In questi due giorni, venderemo metà del carico. Vedrai! Tutti quelli che si fittano la casa al mare ad agosto devono passare di qua.”
Mi sembra che respiri a fatica. Glielo dico.
Dice di no.
Sono sicuro che c’è qualcosa che non va. Lo chiamo: “Pa’, pa’, tu non stai bene! Andiamo pa’, forse è meglio andare in Ospedale. Alzati!”
“Le angurie, il posto” dice, così piano che a stento riesco a sentirlo.
“Pa’, tu stai male. Fermo un’auto in strada, ci facciamo portare…”
“Chiama zio Franco, non possiamo lasciare il camion incustodito.”
“Che te ne frega, del posto, delle angurie, del camion! Andiamo in ospedale!”
“Aspetta che arriva zio Franco, lascia il posto a lui.”
“Pa’, ma tu stai male!”
“Ho detto di aspettare zio Franco!”
Quest’ ultima frase gli costa uno sforzo che lo lascia col respiro mozzo.

Aspettiamo che arrivi lo zio Franco. Guardo mio padre, stravaccato sulla sedia. È pallido. Si fermano altre auto, io continuo a vendere. Un occhio alla bilancia, un altro a lui.
Avevo già notato, negli ultimi tempi, che era più stanco del normale. Ormai sono sempre io a caricare il camion. Papà sta sempre seduto, prima rideva sempre e adesso no, si lamenta del caldo, dell’afa che non lo fa respirare.
Lo zio Franco non verrà e lui lo sa.
Col tempo, vedo che respira meglio. Ormai è sera; abbiamo venduto un paio di quintali di angurie. Io sono preoccupato per la sua salute, ma lui sembra soddisfatto del venduto. Prima di lasciare il posto, ci fermiamo da Mario, che inizia a lavorare mentre noi sgomberiamo.
Mario usa lo stesso posto nostro.
Mario ha un furgoncino che fa i panini: salsiccia, hamburger, porchetta, affettati.
Mario si porta appresso al lavoro tutta la famiglia, moglie e figli compresi.
Quando abbiamo venduto bene, come stasera, papà compra due panini.
Mario ci fa un prezzo speciale, e soprattutto ci mette dentro tutto quello che ha. E’ inteso che mamma a casa non deve sapere niente di questo spuntino. Tra padre e figlio si sa come vanno certe cose. Lo stereo a tutto volume, musica napoletana, mio padre sorridente: canta.
Mi ha fatto prendere un bello spavento. Allora ce l’ha il fiato per cantare!
Facciamo manovra per far entrare il camion nel garage dietro casa. Papà scende sbattendo il palmo della mano sulla portiera della cabina di guida. Poi accarezza la sponda del camion, gli occhi rivolti verso le angurie, le parole rivolte a me: “Ce la faremo: le venderemo tutte!”

Mia madre mi sveglia di soprassalto. Accanto a lei nel letto, mio padre sta ansimando.
“Oddio! pure stanotte! ma stavolta ho un cattivo presentimento.” E’ mia madre che parla. Io cerco di non perdere la calma: “Apri ma’, fallo respirare. Fa caldo, accendi il ventilatore. Pa’, come ti senti?”
Papà ha gli occhi fissi nel vuoto. Rimane muto, col respiro strascicato.
“Mettigli un pantalone. Lo porto in ospedale,” decido.
“Ma non hai la patente, chiamo zio Franco: ce lo porterà lui all’ospedale” ribatte lei.
“Non verrà, già lo so. Ce l’ha ancora con papà, per quella storia della vendita del camion, un cavolo di passaggio di proprietà, ormai non si parlano da mesi.”
“Chiamo un’ambulanza.”
“Un’ambulanza! In agosto, alle tre di notte! Essì, quelli lo fanno morire prima di arrivare fin qua. Vado, lo porto io all’Ospedale San Leonardo.”
“Ma tu sei pazzo, con il camion? E come fai? Glielo avevo pure detto io a tuo padre di non vendere la Fiat…”
“Ma’: ti sembra il momento per parlare dell’auto…”
“E se ti fermano?”
“E se mi fermano, gli faccio vedere come sta papà, e gli dico: portatecelo voi al Pronto Soccorso.”

Prendo una coperta dal letto e gliela butto addosso. Lo carico sulle spalle, lo aggiusto alla meno peggio sul sedile accanto al posto di guida. Partiamo.
Tendo un braccio per aprire il finestrino.
“Faccio entrare un po’ d’aria, papà, vedrai, respirerai meglio” gli dico, dolcemente “e andrà tutto bene, stai comodo, aspetta, sistema meglio le gambe.” Gli parlo come se fosse un bambino, ma non è un bambino, porcaputtana, è mio padre!
“Pà, resisti!, pà.” La testa di mio padre sbatte contro lo sportellino della cabina. La coperta scivola giù, la schiena nuda: pelle ruvida, carne e peli. Ho gli occhi umidi di lacrime. Tutte e due le mani sul clacson. La tromba del camion fa un rumore assordante. Alcune auto, accostano sul bordo della strada. Pazzo, piango. La lancetta del contachilometri impenna, il rimorchio traballa, ho con me tutto il carico d’angurie.

L’addetto alla sbarra del transito alla pedana del Pronto Soccorso non mi vuole aprire.
”Apri questa cavolo di sbarra, fai presto, ho un uomo che sta male!” urlo, e lui finalmente si sbriga. Arrivo alla pedana. Escono gli infermieri, con una barella, prendono mio padre, che scompare dietro alle porte girevoli.
Sembrano ragnatele di gomma.
Le guardie giurate del Pronto Soccorso mi vengono incontro.
“Giovanotto, lei non può stare qui con quel camion, mica sta al mercato ortofrutticolo, qui devono passare le ambulanze. Vada fuori. Parcheggi laggiù. Non si preoccupi: suo padre ormai è dentro. Vada. Vada.”
Che ne sanno, loro, che quell’uomo è mio padre? Poi, penso: chissà quanti ne vedranno, ogni giorno, di figli che portano il padre in ospedale.

Parcheggio accanto ad una statuetta della Madonna: lumini e fiori. Ci sono già stato qui, quel cavolo d’incidente con il motorino, mi ci portò lui. Sì, lui. Bestemmiava e mi tirava delle sberle, penso che avrebbe voluto finirmi lui stesso. Lasciarmi mezzo morto in terra, sull’asfalto. Dio mio, a me faceva male la gamba, e lui tirava certe manate. “Impenna tu, cazzo, te l’ho detto cento volte, impenna con quel cazzo di motorino, ma io te lo butto a mare quel coso! Lo sapevo io. Lo sapevo io” ripeteva. Fumava come un turco buttando fuori il fumo per il naso, la Marlboro gli bruciava le labbra. “Lo sapevo io, lo sapevo”.

Scendo dalla cabina, proprio di fronte alla statuetta della Madonna. Fiori senza odore, perché questo ospedale puzza troppo! Disinfettante e alcool come nei bagni di scuola. Speriamo che vada tutto bene. Deve andare bene per forza.
Ho parcheggiato alla meno peggio il camion, corro verso il Pronto Soccorso. Un’auto dei carabinieri mi ha inseguito, me ne accorgo solo ora. Il militare nella sua divisa nera bordata di rosso, sbraita. Mi viene incontro, tiene fermo nella mano il mitra di nero ferro, nero. Me lo trovo davanti. Le mia pupilla è iniettata di sangue. Mi fronteggia. Ci guardiamo negli occhi: i miei sono pieni di lacrime, vedo inumidirsi i suoi. Si sposta. Fa segno al suo collega di lasciarmi passare.

Entro in ospedale. Cerco il dottore.
“Dotto’!, allora, sono il figlio di Serrapica, come sta papà?”
“Quanti anni hai, ragazzo?”
“Diciassette” gli dico io. Non capisco dove voglia andare a parare.
“Tua madre, dov’è?”
“A casa, con mia sorella di otto anni.”
“Parenti, zii?”
“Sta per arrivare mio zio. Dottò, ma cos’è?” Piango, ma non voglio. Non voglio, non serve. Non sono più un bambino. Ma piango, non ci posso fare nulla.
“Suo padre è in coma” dice lui.
Mi giro, mio zio Franco mi viene incontro dal fondo del corridoio. Qualcuno l’ha avvertito. Mi tuffo tra le sue braccia. Piange anche lui, come un bambino.
“Un fratello … un fratello, e per quattro soldi, per una stupida storia… io…io…”
Sembra sconvolto, arrabbiato, pentito.

Disteso nel letto c’è mio padre. Mio padre.
E mio padre è un uomo.
Ha quarantasei anni.
È un ex operaio della Ital Cementi.
Ha un tumore ai polmoni, a uno stadio avanzato. Era così robusto e forte, che se l’è portato addosso incurante delle metastasi diffuse. Dicono sia un miracolo. Se l’è portato addosso per disperazione. Si è portato addosso la famiglia. È diventato debole. È morto per un’influenza, infine. Una semplice influenza del cavolo.
Non voglio sapere più niente.
Voi mi dite che quell’uomo, alto, con i capelli ancora neri e le spalle larghe; quell’uomo ben vestito, giacca e cravatta, disteso su quel letto: è mio padre. Io non l’ho mai visto così. Ma io, io vi credo.
Vi credo.
“Sì,” dite voi, “mi dispiace,” dite voi, “è la vita,” dite voi, “bisogna pur tirare avanti,” dite voi, “sii forte,” dite voi, poi uscite da quella cazzo di porta e non ci siete più. Mio padre non c’è più.
Ma io sono qui.
Qui.
E quelle poi sono le mani; guardatele: vi prego. Guardatele: sono gonfie, grosse, callose. No, non preoccupatevi, avvicinatevi pure, non puzza ancora: ci sono le borse del ghiaccio. Sì: lo so, che fa un caldo della Madonna, e che la carne… Ma guardatelo, vi prego! Almeno le mani. Vi prego, lasciatemi almeno, mangiarci un’ultima volta in quelle mani: mangiarci dentro.
“No, lasciatemi qua, sto bene. Voglio stare qua, vicino a mio padre. Pa’!”
Forse proprio in quel letto dov’è disteso ora, lui e mia madre hanno fatto l’amore. Ed io non c’ero.
E poi: io vengo da lì.
“Lasciatemi qui, non toccatemi!”

Funerale. Bara. Processione fino al cimitero. Sepoltura. Prete. Terra. Ritorno a casa. Traffico.
È il giorno dell’esodo estivo. Mi aggiro per la casa, ebete, istupidito. Apro la porta del garage. Entro nel montacarichi del camion. Piango con il viso schiacciato sulla superficie liscia e verde delle angurie. Poi mi alzo, asciugo le lacrime, che scendono lungo le striature gialline della scorza.
No!
Salto su: cabina di guida, metto in moto. Il motore è ancora freddo. Si spegne, sbatto le mani sul volante.
Riaccendo. Nulla. Perché? Sul cruscotto le sue sigarette, l’accendino con la donna nuda, la patente con una foto di mio padre giovane: siamo uguali, cavolo! Riaccendo, vai, vai bello!
Ritorno al nostro posto. Scarico. Angurie sul banco e nelle bagnarole con acqua e ghiaccio.
Attacco il cartello. Lo guardo. Lettere rosse su cartone ingiallito. “Angurie 60 cent al Kg”. Lo strappo. “Angurie 35 cent al Kg”, scrivo. Inizio subito a vendere. Il prezzo è stracciato. Le auto si fermano in continuazione. Vendo. Dico ai clienti che ho un’allergia al pino mediterraneo, non ci facessero caso se mi lacrimano gli occhi. A sera ho venduto metà del carico. Faccio una doccia: mi butto nel letto stanco morto.
Perdonami, papà.

Mi alzo di buon’ora. Torno al posto. Attacco il cartello. “Angurie 35 cent al Kg”. No. Non ce la faccio. Non resisterei un altro giorno. “Angurie 20 cent al Kg”, scrivo. Attacco il cartello. Perché questo prezzo?, mi domandano. Io resto in silenzio. Vendo ma non riesco a parlare. Peso. Dico il prezzo. Do il resto. Alcuni non si fidano, gliele taglio davanti agli occhi. È davvero un’ottima partita. Le angurie hanno una polpa rossa, sanguigna, succosa.

A sera arriva Mario.
“Ho saputo. Quella maledetta fabbrica, tutti gli operai addetti alle polveri chimiche…”
Non rispondo nulla. Metto a posto i banchi e le bagnarole
“Hai fatto bene a vendere subito tutta la partita di angurie. E’ la legge del commercio. Il rispetto c’è, tuo padre era un’ottima persona ed il lutto è giusto. Ma ora che lui non c’è più, tocca a te a pensare alla famiglia. Quelle lì erano soldi, figliolo mio: mica le potevi far marcire?”
Rimango in silenzio a guardare il camion vuoto.
“Tutti dobbiamo marcire, prima o poi”

Il sole rosso sul mare come un supersantos. Le auto accendono i fari sulla litoranea che inizia a riempirsi di giovani; discoteche e bar accendono le insegne.
Parcheggio il camion in un angolo della strada.
Mi infilo tra i bungalow della pineta, corro scalzo su aghi di pino, attraverso il campeggio: sbuco sulla spiaggia. Mi spoglio nudo. Nuoto. Mi inoltro nella massa scura dell’acqua. Nuoto sempre più a largo.
Fanculo mare di merda, ora ti faccio vedere io, ti penetro fino…
Vado sempre più lontano. Sento una voce che mi chiama. La voce si fa sempre più sottile, diventa un bisbiglio. Anche le luci del “Camping Mimosa”, tendono a sfuocarsi e scomparire.
Voglio vedere dove finisce. Voglio andare ancora. E poi andare, andare. Nuoto con foga. E c’è solo buio intorno a me. La costa è una linea lontana. Sento la stanchezza dello sforzo, e l’impossibilità di fare un’ altra bracciata: il mio corpo, irrigidirsi. Una busta di plastica si finge essere una medusa, un mozzicone marroncino di sigaretta americana galleggia sull’acqua. “Io non lo sapevo. Io non lo sapevo come sarebbe andata a finire,” dico. In lontananza, solo qualche barca di pescatori con le lampare. Apro le braccia, disteso, faccia al cielo: faccio il morto.
“Papà,” dico. Lacrima salata in acqua salata. “Papà!”, grido.
Sopra di me, solo un cielo con delle cavolo di stelle impazzite, e poi non si sente più niente.


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