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La solitudine del tavolo di Giuseppe Casa


La solitudine del tavolo
di Giuseppe Casa

Il programma del pomeriggio mi offre due possibilità: l’arrivo della ragazza o sentire il computer del ragazzo accendersi. A naso, la prima mi sembra la cosa più ovvia.
La ragazza era stata la mia seconda padrona. Scriveva poesie decisamente cretine a base di pecore sulla luna, ma era sempre meglio che finire in un negozio di antiquariato. Non c’è niente di peggio per uno come me, che finire nella vetrina di un antiquario, dove per di più ti trattano come un idiota da esposizione con olii, spray, verniciature biologiche e laccature per renderti più lucido.
In generale non ero scontento del mio stato, mi piacevo: un po’ legnoso ma robusto, solido e senza funzioni prestabilite. A volte guardavo gli altri mobili, tutti un po’ depressi, troppo vicini, attaccati; la poltrona con il divano, per esempio, erano completamente cerebrolesi a furia di fare salotto. Lo dico sempre io “la comunicazione fa male”. La mia solitudine al centro esatto della stanza, lontano da tutto il resto, mi ha fatto risparmiare centinaia di sedute psicanalitiche.
Alla ragazza voglio molto bene. Sono arrivata da lei dopo una vita trascorsa al centro di una grande sala da pranzo, circondato da sedie idiote tappezzate di raso amaranto e con un lampadario a forma di torta, tutto di vetro sberluccicante che pendeva minacciosamente sopra di me. Allora non avevo molta coscenza, ero giovane e facevo quello per cui ero stato costruito: il tavolo da pranzo. Credo di aver passato una ventina di anni in quello stato. Non mi lamentavo, ma neanche potevo dire d’essere felice. Tutto questo fino a quando non sono stato spostato in un’altra stanza, più piccola: la stanza della ragazza.
All’inizio ero disorientato. Stavo male. Non ne capivo nemmeno il motivo. Continuavo a chiedermi chi avesse usurpato il mio posto. Ero ossessionato all’idea di essere stato sostituito da un comò che mi stava veramente antipatico. Era un vecchio mobile chiuso e diffidente che credeva di essere sensuale. – Un comò che vuole fare il tavolo da pranzo – un’idea assurda, me ne rendevo conto. Le vecchie abitudini sono dure a morire, immagino. Era solo che non volevo crescere.

La ragazza studiava filosofia, storia, letteratura, geografia. Sopra di me c’erano libri, diari, penne, atlanti, persino giornali. Era una ragazza intelligente, passava molto tempo con me. Apprendevo un mucchio di cose: sulla guerra, sulla pace, sulle contraddizioni dell’uomo, ma anche sulla bellezza di quelle tre o quattro cose che danno senso alla vita.
Per la prima volta mi sentivo vivo, sentivo che il mio destino non era più quello di un tavolo da pranzo qualunque: era come se fossi stato chiamato per qualcosa di superiore. Non sapevo bene cosa.
E’ stato allora che ho cominciato a sentire come una vocina dentro di me e che ho avuto la piena consapevolezza della mia esistenza. Era anche una cosa dolorosa, come un rumore di fondo che s’insinuava al centro esatto del mio cassetto man mano che cominciavo a capire.
Un giorno mi sono sentivo bagnare, c’era la ragazza che piangeva. Non sapevo cosa pensare. Avevo provato di tutto; vino, aceto, olio, sale, sughi, brodi, salse, anche champagne qualche volta, ma mai lacrime. Era la cosa più dolce e misteriosa che avessi mai assaggiato. Nelle lacrime c’era qualcosa che mi faceva pensare alla terra, alle radici, alla linfa vitale da cui ero scaturito: un albero, forse?
Ero stato un albero, quelle lacrime me lo dicevano, e mi dicevano anche altre cose che non capivo. La ragazza era innamorata. Amava. Questo era un concetto nuovo per me, ma a poco a poco, mentre la ragazza scriveva tra le pagine segrete del suo diario, io cominciavo a capire, sebbene non avessi mai fatto esperienza. Ah se mi sarebbe piaciuto provare quel sentimento. Però, di che cosa potevo innamorarmi io? Di un altro tavolo? Era assurdo. Mi dissetavo a quella fonte come alla fonte della felicità.
Non vorrei apparire troppo sdolcinato, ma ero a digiuno di poesie: l’ho detto la ragazza scriveva poesie cretine alla luna, e aveva letto solo Pascoli e Carducci. I suoi pensieri innamorati però, erano profondi come le radici di un albero, forti come i suoi rami.
Poi un giorno la ragazza si è sdraiata sopra di me, tra le penne e i manuali. Era nuda. Ero imbarazzato, non sapevo cosa pensare. Non era sola, con lei c’era il ragazzo. Anche lui nudo. Mi è montato sopra. Ero terrorizzato, pensavo che fosse giunta la mia fine, temevo di crollare da un momento all’altro; le mie gambe si aprivano e io immaginavo di prendere il posto di un tappeto.
La cosa si è ripetuta più volte perchè si erano un po’ fissati a fare quelle cose sopra di me. Ma io non sono crollato. Ero più solido di quello che pensassi. E devo dire che a parte la paura di finire come legna da ardere, la cosa non mi dispiaceva. Pensate pure quello che volete ma io cominciavo a provarci gusto. Adesso capivo il lettom che ora era il mio nuovo nemico. Non si poteva sentire quel letto. Ne avevo le scatole piene, ma lo dovetti sopportare finchè non è successa una cosa che non mi sarei mai aspettato: sono stato preso e trasporato in un’altra casa. Era la casa del ragazzo. Non mi sembrava un’ottima cosa. Il ragazzo era veramente strano, mi aveva collocato al centro di una stanza, ma secondo le mie conoscenze quella non doveva essere una stanza da pranzo. Allora cos’era? Non mi sembrava nemmeno un salotto perchè i mobili erano messi tutti alla rinfusa senza alcun criterio e litigavano fra di loro, non c’era alcuna comunicazione. Anarchia totale. Un mucchio di libri stavano in terra e si alzavano come torri pronte a cadere da un momento all’altro. C’era una tv in un angolo, era sempre spenta, depressa. Da qualche parte nell’appartamento sentivo un telefono che squillava in continuazione, sembrava un tacchino atterrito. Per giorni sono stato lì, al centro della stanza, con la mente vuota. Non sapevo cosa pensare. Non conoscevo le sue intenzioni. Per quel poco che ne sapevo la vita degli uomini mi sembrava un’interrotta successione di menzogne. Stavo lì con crescente disperazione a fissare i quadri appesi al muro che sembravano omini solitari o pezzetti di legno conficcati nella neve, erano inquietanti. Alla fine ha cominciato ad usarmi posandomi sopra i libri. Ai bordi si innalzavano torri di libri alte mezzo metro.
Un giorno è arrivato il computer ed è rimasto lì; poi la stampante, i posaceneri, le candele aromatiche, le bacchette d’incenso e le bottiglie di vino. Durante il giorno, in un angolo vuoto, apparecchiava con una tovaglietta di plastica col disegno di Spiderman; si metteva a mangiare tra i libri e il computer, spesso scatole di fagioli, canticchiava qualcosa, oppure erano rumori che faceva con la bocca. Mangiava come un ragno. Non sapevo cosa pensare. Per giunta, di tanto in tanto mi accarezzava, il che era ancora più preoccupante.
Adesso sono passati molti mesi da che abito nella casa del ragazzo. Ci sto bene, mi piace Spiderman, il ragazzo, ora lo chiamo così, non è malaccio, è un tipo imprevedibile, continua ad accarezzarmi anche se non mi pulisce mai. Ogni tanto arriva la ragazza, la mia ex padrona, e mette su un disco, il tizio che canta si chiama Eminem e urla come un invasato, ma è simpatico. Lei balla, lui la sta a guardare e poi fanno l’amore, tra ceneri d’incenso e cicche di sigarette. Naturalmente anche qui il letto c’è l’ha con me. Insopportabile. Io continuo ad elaborare giustificazioni intellettuali per quello che fanno i ragazzi , ma lui è ignorante, non capisce: come posso spiegarglielo?


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  68. หมุนสล็อตฟรี กับโหมด ทดสอบเล่นpg ไม่มีค่าใช้จ่าย ฟรีทุกกรณี พร้อมเครดิตในเกม เล่นสล็อตฟรีกับพวกเราไม่มีกระดอน เว็บสล็อตแตกง่าย ไม่มีหลุด พร้อมให้เล่นฟรีทุกเกม อัปเดตจากเว็บไซต์แม่ ไม่ต้องตามหาเว็บไซต์เล่นสล็อตฟรีให้ยุ่งยาก

  69. หมุนสล็อตฟรี กับโหมด ทดสอบเล่นpg ไม่มีค่าใช้จ่าย ฟรีทุกกรณี พร้อมเครดิตในเกม 15รับ100 เล่นสล็อตฟรีกับพวกเราไม่มีกระดอน ไม่มีหลุด พร้อมให้เล่นฟรีทุกเกม อัปเดตจากเว็บไซต์แม่

  70. พร้อมให้เล่นฟรีทุกเกม อัปเดตจากเว็บไซต์แม่ ไม่ต้องตามหาเว็บไซต์เล่นสล็อตฟรีให้ยุ่งยาก เพียงแค่เข้ามาที่ สล็อต168 เว็บไซต์เดียวแค่นั้นคุณจะได้ครบทุกการบริการ อีกทั้งเล่นฟรี อีกทั้งเล่นได้เงินจริง เอาอกเอาใจสมาชิกด้วยโบนัสที่สูงถึง 100%

  71. พร้อมให้เล่นฟรีทุกเกม อัปเดตจากเว็บไซต์แม่ ไม่ต้องตามหาเว็บไซต์เล่นสล็อตฟรีให้ยุ่งยาก เพียงแค่เข้ามาที่ เครดิตฟรี50 เว็บไซต์เดียวเพียงแค่นั้นคุณจะได้ครบทุกการบริการ อีกทั้งเล่นฟรี ทั้งยังเล่นได้เงินจริง

  72. เกมสล็อตที่พวกเราชี้แนะเป็นเพียงแค่นิดหน่อยของเกมที่พวกเรามีให้บริการ ยังมีเกมสล็อตอีกเพียบเลยให้ท่านได้เลือกเล่นด้วยเงินจริง ยิ่งเล่นยิ่งได้ ufabet ทุกเกมจากพวกเราล้วนแล้วแต่เป็นเกมที่มีคุณภาพ ที่พวกเราคัดสรรมาให้บริการคุณโดยยิ่งไปกว่านั้น

  73. เกมสล็อตที่พวกเราเสนอแนะเป็นเพียงแค่นิดหน่อยของเกมที่พวกเรามีให้บริการ ยังมีเกมสล็อตอีกเยอะมากให้ท่านได้เลือกเล่นด้วยเงินจริง pgslot ทุกเกมจากพวกเราล้วนแล้วแต่เป็นเกมที่มีคุณภาพ ที่พวกเราคัดสรรมาให้บริการคุณโดยยิ่งไปกว่านั้น

  74. พวกเรามีให้บริการ ยังมีเกมสล็อตอีกเพียบเลยให้ท่านได้เลือกเล่นด้วยเงินจริง ทุกเกมจากพวกเราล้วนแล้วแต่เป็นเกมที่มีคุณภาพ pg slot
    ที่พวกเราคัดสรรมาให้บริการคุณโดยยิ่งไปกว่านั้น

  75. ยิ่งเล่นยิ่งได้ ทุกเกมจากพวกเราล้วนแล้วแต่เป็นเกมที่มีคุณภาพ ที่พวกเราคัดสรรมาให้บริการคุณโดยยิ่งไปกว่านั้น pg slot เว็บตรง
    ซึ่งแต่ละเกมนั้นมีความต่างกันออกไป ไม่ทดลองเล่นไม่เคยรู้ว่าเกมสล็อตสนุกสนานเพียงใดแน่ๆ

  76. ทุกเกมจากเราล้วนแต่เป็นเกมที่มีคุณภาพ ที่เราคัดสรรมาให้บริการคุณโดยเฉพาะ PGSLOT
    ซึ่งแต่ละเกมนั้นมีความต่างกันออกไป

  77. เกมสล็อตที่พวกเราเสนอแนะเป็นเพียงแต่นิดหน่อยของเกมที่พวกเรามีให้บริการ ยังมีเกมสล็อตอีกเยอะมากให้ท่านได้เลือกเล่นด้วยเงินจริง ยิ่งเล่นยิ่งได้ pg
    ทุกเกมจากพวกเราล้วนแล้วแต่เป็นเกมที่มีคุณภาพ ที่พวกเราคัดสรรมาให้บริการคุณโดยเฉพาะอย่างยิ่ง

  78. ใครกันแน่กำลังตามหา สล็อต ทดสอบเล่นฟรี ถอนได้ อยู่บ้าง แล้วก็ผู้ใดกำลังอยากได้คำตอบว่า ทดสอบเล่นสล็อตฟรีได้เงินจริง ทำเป็นจริงไหม superslot
    วันนี้พวกเรามีคำตอบมาบอกแล้ว การทดสอบเล่นสล็อตฟรี เป็นเพียงแค่การเล่นผ่าน เดบด แค่นั้น ไม่อาจจะเบิกเงินได้จริง

  79. ผู้ใดกันแน่กำลังตามหา สล็อต ทดสอบเล่นฟรี ถอนได้ อยู่บ้าง แล้วก็คนไหนกำลังอยากคำตอบว่า ทดสอบเล่นสล็อตฟรีได้เงินจริง สล็อต เว็บตรง
    ทำเป็นจริงไหม วันนี้พวกเรามีคำตอบมาบอกแล้ว

  80. pgslot น่าเล่น แตกจริงคุณพร้อมหรือยังที่จะสัมผัสกับโลกแห่งสล็อตออนไลน์อย่างที่ไม่เคยมีมาก่อน? ไม่ต้องมองไปไกลกว่า PGSLOT น่าเล่นแตกจริง! ในคู่มือที่ครอบคลุมนี้